The above video from The State, is one I watched more times than the Count could count. One couple invites another over to dinner and after an enjoyable meal of Muppet they ask for the recipe. The host explains you need only stand by your window and call out for help on some easily taught task like calculating a tip and the Sesame seed will be planted, and the Count will come calling. How much Alginate to measure? Consider Beaker beckoned. Then simply take them by the neck and tear away the fabric of their life.
In theory anyway. How many times it's happened to me that I needed help writing a review, calling out to Fonzie for a zinger for a zero-star review, the Swedish Chef when I couldn't get Marcus Samuelsson to provide a recipe for my website, only to come up empty-handed. Free range Muppets are twice as hard to find as a truffle in the Adirondacks. (How many wasted weekends I've spent wandering forests looking for pieces of chocolate under trees!)
But then I discovered FAO Schwarz. FAO has learned it's not easy to keep a toy store open year-round when people only want to shop there at Christmas, so beside their ice cream parlor they've opened up one more great Upper East Side butcher shop to compete with Lobel's and Schaller & Weberr, filling a niche with their Muppet Whatnot Workshop. They churn out Muppets to order the way Pat La Freida does burger blends, and unlike the accusations most farmers and butchers face, Muppets neither release Ethanol nor raise the ire of PETA.
This is comfort food in its truest form. Some people will say chicken soup but I didn't grow up watching chickens, some will say hot dogs but I didn't grow up with pets, no, with the new Whatnot Workshop up and running it won't be long before we see the local vore community paying a premium, the name Henson between Benton and Eggleston on the chalkboard at Momofuku, the burnt ends at Hill Country replaced with Grover's corners, and Minetta Tavern's brunch menu serving up a prix fixeo of "Buns & Honeydew."