If you've never used a napkin, just stop right now, go to your nearest Starbucks and go get yourself one. Get ten. You don't even have to buy anything and it's even less conspicuous than going to the bathroom. Okay? Got one? Good. Now you know what to do? Or do you?
We all know they don't call them sanitary napkins for nothing, they can keep your hands clean before and after you eat, they wipe up spills and calm down stains, but that's not all those plys imply. Women, you can use one to plot your lipstick or write down your phone number, artists you can draw on one in lieu of paying for your tab, (like at the new Jane Hotel lobby bar,) children can unfold them, cut two holes and make a Halloween costume Charlie Brown style. And in this day and age of non smoking, their a great way to remember memorable meals when they're so few and far between. But one word of advice, if you do take a matchbook take heed too because napkins are flammable and the economy's not so bad I condone stealing water glasses yet. Just stick with stealing glances and maybe you'll go home with so much more!